Urd's Random Hijinks!
by Tuisto
Summary: Urd... the mischievous goddess, what happens when she sets her eye to Sailor Pluto's love life? Well, read and find out. Crackfic, spam, oneshot. Sailor Moon X-over.


**Random Hijinks: **

An Ah! My Goddess and sailor Moon Fusion.

By Tuisto.

28, 5, 'o8

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In a place that defied all mortal logic and comprehension, there was a white haired woman of striking beauty sitting in a hovering chair with a look of consternation plastering her tanned face.

This was Urd, the Second Class, Second Category limited class Goddess of the Past, the Norn of the Fate itself... and part-time Cupid of Amour... ;)

The reason for her baleful mood was the image of the woman in her Yggdrasil viewing screen: Setsuna Meioh, also known as Sailor Pluto, the Senshi of Time.

Setsuna, currently in her guise as Sailor Pluto was doing something she usually did every waking moment of her existence as she waited for the Senshi to be reincarnated into the World: Stand before the Gates of Time.

Now here was the rub as far as Urd was concerned; Setsuna was technically one of Urd's few remaining subjects from her wild and raucous Temple carousing days, but the woman had absolutely no life!

There are BRICKS with more Social Plans than Setsuna Meioh!

The woman, quite frankly as Urd saw it, was too uptight and would likely blow up if she didn't get some _relief_... soon.

And so it was Urd's duty to give unto this woman, this selfless defender of Time itself... a well earned break.

It was her job as a Goddess after all to make people happy.

Now smirking in a way that Mara would instantly recognize as a "Hild patented" smirk of devilish plotting, Urd reached into the very minimal fabric of her V-neck halter top and withdrew a small glass vial filled with a slightly glowing chartreuse potion.

Yes... it was Urd's solemn responsibility over this poor soul of Sailor Pluto to find happiness... and Urd had just the right concoction for the job!

Setsuna would be -_very_- happy if it was the last thing Urd did!

Standing up suddenly from her floating chair, though she herself also floated in mid air, Urd exclaimed her righteous cause boldly, "Setsuna Meioh, prepare to have your world rocked!" and with that the half goddess half demoness Urd disappeared in a blinding luminescent flash of light.

Remaining in the room Urd had just departed was Peorth, Crono, Ex, and Ere, all were staring oddly at were Urd had made such a sudden proclamation and then vanished.

Acting quickly, Peorth shouted with the utmost urgency filling her command, "Chrono! Get me the file on this 'Setsuna Meioh' STAT!"

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Sailor Pluto stifled a yawn as she watched the Time Stream through the Time Gates, there was absolutely no excuse for _yawning_ on her job. Even if it was a tedium beyond compare, it was her duty to watch the Time Gates and await the Time she was needed when the Senshi were to be reborn.

'_Still though_'... the green haired beauty mused to herself, ' _... it would be nice to have only a few moments to myself every hundred years or so_.'

"I can help with that if you'd let me..." whispered a seductive feminine voice through the null-ether that housed the Gates of Time.

Instantly on guard for attack, Sailor Pluto was prepared, this was the eventuality she had been trained for, a possible hostile incursion into the Gates of Time.

With the Garnet Staff raised, Sailor Pluto shouted into the Void, "Show yourself! You will not gain access to the Gate, so surrender now, lest I be forced to attack!"

"Temper temper Setsuna-chan, I'm not here for the Gate." came the same seductive voice from behind Sailor Pluto.

Whirling around Pluto saw the source of the voice, and the green haired woman had to clamp down a feeling of inadequacy as she stared at a woman that surpassed the concept of Gorgeous, and was in the realm of Divine Beauty. Though that's only_ -half- _right...

The intruder to the Gates of Time was reclining... in mid air... her long white hair cascading around her in a non-existent breeze, as her barely-there purple and black dress hugged every curve in just the _right_ ways.

"Who are you!" Pluto demanded. '_How dare this trollop enter here!_'

Urd frowned at the thoughts going through the Senshi's mind... oh well, she'd heard worse. Smiling at Sailor Pluto Urd decided to go for the 'BIG' Introduction.

So bringing her full goddess power to bear she exclaimed in a voice the shook the foundations of the Gates of Time, "I am your Goddess, Urd, The Norn of Fate!. And to you, Setsuna Meioh I have decided to bestow my blessing for your service to the continuity of Time!"

Sailor Pluto could feel her knees going week under her at the amount of Power, with a capital "P" this woman was putting out. So in a rather meek voice, Sailor Pluto asked the only question that could pop into her head. "What do you want with me?"

Grinning in a rather disconcerting way, Urd draped her arm over Setsuna's shoulder and said playfully, "What I want is for you to be happy! Your really lacking satisfaction, and that's just not healthy!"

"Happy? I'll have you know that I'm perfectly happy!" Sailor Pluto said unsurely.

Urd just gave her THE LOOK... and Sailor Pluto hung her head in defeat.

With that Urd, with her Arm still draped over Setsuna's shoulders walked the two in front of the Time Gates. She then dabbed her index finger on her tongue and then touched her wetted finger to the magical surface of the Time Gates. As if acting on que, as soon as there was contact, the surface of the Image of the Time Gates rippled like water, and Setsuna had to gasp at the number of images now being shown through the gates... so many images... or REALLY good looking men. Manly Men. The kind of men that make women go 'oooooohhhhhh'...

Pluto, still off balanced that this Goddess, and she had no doubts about those credentials, looked into the violet eyes of this Urd and asked, "Why are you showing me this?"

Urd smirked and winked at Setsuna and said, "Oh this? It's a bit of a menu... pick one or two of those wonderful beefcakes, and I'll be certain that you can snag them... then shag them... to your hearts content."

As Urd spoke, Setsuna's mouth had slowly opened in dumbfounded amazement, as soon as Urd finished speaking though, she exploded with her face flushed red, "YOU WANT TO WHORE ME OUT TO STRANGE MEN!?"

"Oh no no no, don't be so crude, I just want you to get Laid to let off some steam, 'kay?" Urd said merrily as though her idea was perfectly natural.

Jumping away from the so-called goddess, Sailor Pluto cursed herself for being drawn in so easily by this... this... wicked siren. Retrieving her Garnet Staff once more she exclaimed, "No! You can take your dirty machinations to someone else, I'm not interested in playing such a sick game! A couple should be bedded for love and compassion, not such carnal lusts!"

For her part, Urd just sighed resignedly looked upwards and muttered, "Where? Where did I go wrong Father?" Then turning back to Setsuna, Urd said, "Well... I'd of preferred you would've cooperated... but drastic times call for drastic measures... good thing for you Set-chan that Urd, Cupid of Love, always come prepared!" And with that Urd retrieved a small vial of slightly glowing chartreuse fluid...

Sailor Pluto didn't know what was in that vial the white haired woman had pulled out of her dresss was, and didn't want to wait to see, so she acted proactivly holding out the Garnet Staff she called her attack in a whisper, "Dead Scream!"

Urd was so engrossed in her plans and plots for different ways she could make Sentsuna scream in extacy she didn't see of sense the magical attack until it was far too late.

An interesting affect to note however was the fact that the Dead Scream did not provide magical destruction as it came into contact with Urd and the potion she was holding... no... it did explode... but actually the Magical Attack, contacting a Magical Lust Potion, and a Magical Being changed it radically...

And so it was that Setsuna witnessed her own attack stop, fizzle, expand arround the vial in Urds hand, and then blow right back at her. So the last sight Setsuna saw before the blackness claimed her was the onrushing of bright PINK energy...

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"Uugh..." groaned a voice from beneath soft warm blankets.

"Oh my head..." groaned a different voice from beneath the same soft and warm blankets.

In a moment of dread for the first voice, one shaky hand arose from the edge of the blankets, and in one motion pulled them away letting in the light of day.

The sight that was revealed was NOT one Setsuna Meioh wanted to see.

She was in a bed... naked.

Urd was in the same bed, also naked.

There were several wet spots...

"W-what did w-we do?" Setsuna asked in a shaky voice.

Urd slinked up to Setsuna and twiddled her finger over the other woman's nipple and purred, "Oh, you know what we did, don't you Set-chan?"

Setsuna locked up for a moment, then screamed, "BUT WE'RE BOTH WOMEN!"

"Oh, I know Set-chan, I know..." Urd replied huskily before kissing the green haired beauty.

Urd was -_VERY_- liberated, and Setsuna _was_ a fine piece of woman...

Setsuna did what came naturally, she screamed and ran. Incidentally giving the neighbors to her apartment a great peep show...

Urd just stared at the retreating backside of Setsuna, then chuckled to herself, crossed her arms behind her head and laid back into the soft bedding and said, "She'll be back... they always come back to Urd-Sama!" then Urd did something her mother was well known for... she cackled madly...

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Back in Heaven...

Peorth had watched it... but she couldn't believe it.

Ere held her hand out and snapped her fingers in the face of the non-responsive Elder Goddess.

Peorth just sat there, too stunned to blink.

"Wow, guys, I think she broke..." Ere said in awe.

"Who cares about that! I call dibs on showing **THIS** to Belldandy and Skuld!" shouted Ex as tears of joy ran down her face as she cradled a shiny recording disk to her bosom... the same disk that incidentally recorded Urd's... conquest...

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Kami-Sama looked at the scene one more time, still not quite believing his daughter could be so... so... wow...

HE That is I AM! pulled out her file and amended it, "URD: No More Meddling With Magical Girls. EVER! Your loving Father. Kami-Sama."

Then a horrible thought struck the maker of the Universe... what would Hild, Urd's mother say about this!?

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Speaking of the Devil... Mara was... well to put it mildly, freaked out.

She had been receiving her orders from Daimakaicho Hild about what was to be done to a young Austrian Wall Paperer... when suddenly Hild, The Queen to the Underverse, The Sovereign of the Demons, The Unholy of Unholy's, collapsed in a fit of raucous laughter.

The sight of Hild choking out words through her merriment like "URD!", "Tastes like fish!" and "Carpet!" was more than Mara wanted to know. FAR more than Mara wanted to know considering that one time when she and Urd were kids and Urd did that thing to her... (ahem)

With a blush, Mara fled as fast as her magic would allow, leaving the Daimakaicho laughing like a lunatic at apparently the Universes greatest practical joke...

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END.

This was written on a whim for SpokAvriel, a poster at FukuFics.

I don't normally do requests, but this idea spoke to me.

Be glad I don't regularly write the ideas that speak to me, because if I did the results would make M. Knight Shyamalan scream like a little girl...


End file.
